..of long days and even longer nights.

OMG!! I havent posted in soooo long!!! my schedule has been crazy!! I have to get up everyother day at about 5am to deliver bread because we cant afford anothe delivery person, then on those days I then return home anytime between 7:30 and 8am and take a nap till noon, after that i get up RP online chech email and getready for work and go in at 3pm. monday and tuesady ill usually finish work by 9 but i can go as late at 1am on fridays.

But enough about my work!! i miss all my friends alot!! i have made friends with the other extern but her is leaving on saturday and the new guy and i are still getting aquainted, but is seems promising for someone to talk to a bit. but i am getting used to being alone it can be relaxing i am getting in a lot of reading but still havent started my extern manual, maybe to day i will.
till next i type,
Raven

... of Allergies and irony.

allergy

noun

hypersensitivity reaction to a particular allergen; symptoms can vary greatly in intensity flour noun 1. fine powdery foodstuff obtained by grinding and sifting the meal of a cereal grain I AM ALLERGIC TO FLOUR!!!!!! yeah I have a skin allergy to flour!!! that means when ever I come in contact with flour I get a rash where ever I touch it.. the sad irony of this of course I make bread everyday, main ingredient in bread...FLOUR!!!!!!!!! that is all I have to say right now.

... of misery and guilt.

OK so I had the externship of a life time planned out. I would go work with my food idol and learn all her cake decorating secrets. As I have said in the past that fell through in the last possible minute, so I had to find another externship and I did. I HATE IT!!!!! I hate everything about it I didn't even like making bread at school!!!! but now i have to wake up every morning at 5 am to deliver the freaking bread and then stay up to almost midnight some nights to pack it away so I can deliver it in the morning. I am miserable because i have no choice but to do this for the next five months!!! i feel bad also because i am green with envy over anopther student in my class who is working with Ron Ben Isreal the cake decorator and is probably having fun in New York City!!!!!! I WANT TO SCREAM AND CRY!!!!!!! that could have been me!!! I could be happy right now with any cake decorator. hell I'd be happy at costco if I was decorateing cakes!!!!

but then I look at my friend Jacob who cant find an externship and has to leave the program till he does. here I am at an externsite, with housing (but no pay), all about bread like he wanted an I cant do anything other than complaine about how much I hate it!!! i feel bad but at the same time dont i deserve to be happy?

... of diets and comicon!!!!

so i have been trying to lose weight for some time now and its finally working!!!!! yesterday i notices my arms look thinner and the day before that i had to find a belt so my pants wont fall off at work!!! I'm so happy about it its not even funny skinny here i cone and hopefully in time for comicon!!!!!

Yeah thats right I Raven Feathers am going to SanDiego Comicon!!!!!! so excited i cant even believe it. Like any good conner I of course am going in costume!!!! s here are my planned days

Day one: little kid geek - costume includes a red pillow case tied around my neck with a paper clip and shooting goggles for the ultimate nerd dome!!!
Day 2: Raven - this is one of my older costumes but a favorite
day 3: Gothic loitta - here is a link to the dress i'm thinking of getting
day 4: Alice Cullen - the baseball outfit ball and mit included

costumes are subject to change but as of now this is it and i'm so excited!!!!
Till i type again,
Raven

... of addresses and stories

here it is everyone I have an address so you can send me your love... and boxes of stuff.
1151 Skillman rd
Petaluma, CA 94952

or email me at Cakesquen76@aim.com (yes there is only one "e" in there its not a typo)

i readily await your messages!!!!

any way other than that please check out my other blog its a story that will be on going as long as i can keep it up so please follow along its gonna get good. so go over to thecovenreality.blogspot.com right now and read it!!!

Till next i type, Raven

P.S. I hate bread... actually i hate waking up at 6am only to find out i didnt have to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.. of ignorance and thoughts

first off yoplait apple turnover yogurt actually tastes like the filling of an apple turnover!!!!!


So yesterday in the bakeshop I started to get how to shape the bread dough. Granted it did stick to my hands from time to time but I am surprisingly getting better. I was even able to fill orders almost completely on my own. the only thing i cant really do yet is make starter, but I'm ok with that.


So I never thought i would feel like this and especially not at this age but you have no idea what I would give to be able to just hold Zac's hand right now.my house makes funny noises at night and when I walk the streets of downtown I just want him there with me it almost hurts physically to think about being apart for six months. when I left I sadly have to admit I thought the relationship would just fizzel outbut despite what I thought I has become stronger and more sincere. I miss him so I cant wait to see him.


lastly the little apple bits in the yogurt are really nasty.

..of joy and connections!!!

THERE IS NOW INTERNET IN MY HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i <3 stealing internet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that is all more in the morning.

...of ovens and antiques

Yeah for bread I... guess. Bread is fun don't get me wrong but its a lot of hard work and very sticky. every night i come home covered in flour and sticky from the dough. while the bread tastes good, well actually amazing, I'm not sure its for me. but we will see how it goes in the next 5 months I have to be doing this.

In the downtown part of Petaluma, which oddly resembles Rhinebeck, there are a ton of antique stores, and I must admit I have become addicted. my favorite so far is the antique book store. not only are there newer used books but there are also really old books, like the otherday i found a book from 1845. i think in might start an old book collection to go with my one book from 1908 about Jonh Hancock. so if anyone wants to fule this new addiction please see if you have any old books or know of anyone who does and is willing to get rid of them i will gladly take they off their hands!

..of breaddough and boyfriends.

so yesterday was my first day on the job and I discovered two things:
1) I don't speak Spanish as well as I thought i did.
2) I cant make bread!!!!!
I tried for 6 hours they made me zest lemons after a while since I couldn't understand the Mexican lady who was trying so desperately to teach me. To say the least it was sad on every front. but the good news is I got through the day and slept well.

Another amazing thing that happened last night,(and by amazing I actually mean good), if everything had been ok, my boyfriend would be here with me as I type this!!!! last night we were on the phone and he was being picked up by our mutual friend Beaver and through the conversation somehow they got the idea to hop on a flight to california and come stay with me for a while. well sadly to say things wont workout for today but sometime next week I'll have house guests.
Untill next i type, Raven

... of lonliness and hauntings

I MISS EVERYONE!!!!!!!
now that that's off my chest I just want you all to know I have now become one of those stereotyped bloggers that goes down to their local Starbucks to "use" *choughstealcough* the free wifi. So when ever I get a chance from now till I figure out something better to do with my time I will be spending my time here with my tazo tea and a package of madalines.


In other news I have moved to Petaluma for my externship. I live on a cute little farm where i will be working not 50 feet from my frout door. there are a bunch of dogs running around so i wont miss mine too much but when I do I only have an hour and a half drive home!!! My little home is so cute!! its a duplex that I share with the other extern, Dan. There ia a full kitchen and bathroom with an antique porcline footed bathtub. the frount room is also the bedroom and in the back is a mudroom with a small porch. Only down side to the house... its haunted. No seriously haunted!!!! This morning I was woken up by the police knocking on my door saying that they had recieved multipule 911 calls from my house with sound of a struggle in the backround. best part of this visit from the police...I DONT HAVE AN ACTIVE PHONE LINE!!!!!!
(evidence included above) So I finished moving in and now I have to clense my house of a spirit YEAH!!!!!! I hate my life sometimes.

...of skellyton and toothbrushes

Here Skellyton!!!
put your toothbrush here!!!
honestly I miss finding them randomly around my room, I mean just tonight i went in my old room and saw my old (gross) toothbrush in the drawer and it looked like yours. it was a sad moment .

but on a lighter side!!!!!
I now have 2 (yes count them 1..2) extern sites looking for me to work for them!!!!
so in the morning I am going to check them both out and eat at both so a final verdict and full explanation will be soon to follow.

...of tears and tissues

So since I have a moment i want to tell you all I am very sad and miss all my NY buddies, CA buddies its nice to see you but I still miss my clan. another sad bit of news is that I will not be taking the externship with Bronwen Webber as planned. a few ligistical issues have arrisen on her end and things will not be working out this time around, but we both hope to meet in the future. so as of now i am home with my parents and my kid brother, without an extern and without most of my friends...its going to be a long hard 3 weeks but I'm sure I'll make it through in the end. i plan on renting SLC Punk just to watch it with my brother so I can be reminded of "home" and Nyx and my saturday night pizza calls and planning to stay awake for courtside breakfast...still havent done that but we will. thats all I've got for now
Till I Type Again,
Raven

...of sadness and those left behind.

today I left almost everyone I know and love back home in New York. I'm really sad about it butits late I'll write more tomorrow but till then I miss you guys!!!!!

OMG!!!

OK this is crazy I'm 18!!! I'm too young to have married friends!!!!! especially not ones I went to High school with!!!!!!! I'm freaking out... not quite sure what to make of it but a good friend from high school had her wedding recently and i feel she is messing up her life with the way she went about it. now she will never go to college she cant afford her basic medications (she has mental and physical disorders) and her sister is emotionally disturbed over the whole thing. if i were her i would have don't it differently but then again that's me and apparently i don't think like most people my age but then again maybe that's a good thing...perhaps I'm better off that way... or am i missing out on child hood? but is marriage something we should leave up to childish whims? or is it worth waiting till 30 and finding that perfect person, living more of your life before settling down? I don't know all i know is I'm not ready to settle down yet there is so much to do so many places to go and things to see. sure it would be nice to do it with someone but then gain what if they slow you down? am i being paranoid about relationships? a bit. but i am dating... but still i don't want to miss something. Living life till its fullest while I'm still brave enough to, Raven

...of slips and falls

So everyone knows ice =slippery. Those in the food industry know crocs = non slip shoes. So logic would dictate that ice + crocs = safe on ice. WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Infact I have reason to believe they make ice worse and my wrist and but will attest to it! I was innocently walking from my class at the end of the day Friday night planning to go handout with some friends later, there was a light layer of snow on the ground. the snow looked nice and fluffy, not slippery and icy, but it lied... it lied!!!!!! i fell on my ass walking down a hill and if it wasn't for my backpack i would have hit my head hard on the concrete so little blessings i guess, but my wrist is totaled. like an idiot I reached out to stop the fall and landed fully on my wrist. 4 days later and the swelling and bruising are just as bad, so xrays when i get home are in order, but until then i suffer in my own clumsiness and hope you all better luck in this "winter wonderland".

first and (I hope not to be) last blog

yeah i finally broke and started a blog. So this morning i write to you from the 2nd floor lounge of my dorm building as i do laundry and watch reruns on TNT. Thanks Nyx for getting me started on this ans i trust u to keep me on track with this, but for now me and my broken wrist will go back to our laundry and the delicious reruns. till i type again, Raven